Sunday, 7 September 2008

The Liar, the Witch and the Wardrobe*

T and I had been talking about getting a new wardrobe virtually since we moved to Wales. We had brought with us a hideous cheap melamine one that my Mum and Dad had been about to throw out. It was supposed to be a stop gap measure until we got around to buying a really nice one.
It's not like we didn't know what our lovely new wardrobe was going to look like. It would be stripped, reclaimed pine, probably a triple wardrobe with 3 doors and drawers underneath for extra storage. We even went on a few serious wardrobe hunting expeditions, but somehow the nearest we ever got to actually making a purchase was when we visited a local pine furniture specialist and liked all the options so much we couldn't decide. So we bought a bookcase instead and came home.
Last weekend my brother came to visit, and did a great job of distracting me from my current woes. One day we visited Newcastle Emlyn and noticed a new antique shop had opened - so of course we had to go in and have a good look round. Towards the back of the shop was an old, Victorian stripped pine wardrobe - single. I fell in love with it immediately, but there was no price on it, and I sternly told myself that with a divorce looming this is no time to be buying antique furniture. Still, I couldn't help thinking about it. It was so perfect.
When T rang a few days later, I asked what he thought about me buying a new wardrobe. Perhaps it was guilt, but after a brief consideration, he agreed that a new wardrobe was definitely needed. By now the old melamine one had lost its doors, and the cheap hanging rails sagged so badly they needed propping up with broom handles. "How much is it?" he asked as an afterthought. I had no idea, as there had been no price label on it, but from somewhere I found myself saying, "£150".
"Oh that's not too bad," T said, relieved. "Yes, go for it."
On Friday I found myself once again in Newcastle Emlyn, making a beeline for the antique shop. My heart sunk as I entered. It had gone, I was too late. But wait - no, there it was, towards the back. As I approached, I could see a price tag had been added. My heart sunk again. It was bound to be more than £150. Why hadn't I told T a higher price when he asked?
The label read £165. With my heart in my mouth I approached the shop owner. "I love the pine wardrobe you have, but I only have a budget of £150," I tentatively began.
He put his head on one side and pursed his lips. I just knew he was going to turn down my offer.
"Yes, that's OK," he smiled. "Would it be alright if I deliver it for you on Sunday?"
Unable to believe my luck I nodded vigorously, and wrote out the cheque with shaking hands. I had my wardrobe! I virtually skipped back to the car. Somehow it seemed like a good omen.
Back at home I began putting the clothes T had left at the house into black bin-bags, ready for him to pick up on his next visit, or take to a charity shop if they were unwanted. I moved all my clothes into T's old wardrobe in the spare room, and finally the melamine monstrosity could be dismantled and moved out to make room for the new pine wardrobe. What I hadn't expected from all of this was how therapeutic it was to clear T's stuff away. How positive it felt to claim space for my own.
My sweet new little wardrobe was delivered this afternoon. I love it. It's just big enough for one person's clothes - in fact I'll have to do a bit of judicious pruning of my clothes to fit them all in comfortably. But that is a good thing. It's time for a new start, time to release that which no longer fits comfortably, and make future choices according to what pleases me, and no one else.
So you see, really it's a magical wardrobe. Through it, I've peeked into a whole new world.
* Sorry, couldn't resist the pun. I was trying to make this post positive and not dwell too much on anger and recriminations. But hey, I'm only human. ;-)


Livia Indica said...

Hey good for you!

Caitlin said...

I have been right where you are just now and I recall that after the initial shock and trauma I scrubbed (and I mean SCRUBBED) the house from top to bottom, boxed and bagged all his stuff and shipped it to him (at his expense), moved ALL the furniture round, kitted out a new office in the spare room and bought myself a long overdue new bed (Freudian no?). Yes. It is most certainly therapeutic.

Oh and your wardrobe is lovely. :-)

Leanne said...

and Ive been there too, its very cathartic and satisfying to reclaim yuor home and your life, isnt it? well done you!

....and like Narnia, lets hope your wardrobe is a gateway, a beginning to a wonderful new life for you!!

Leanne x

Joanna said...

Lovely wardrobe ... therapeutic chucking / re-arranging .... positive post : WELL DONE


The Dragon said...

Things seem to be moving on for you Moonroot and I love the new wardrobe! I hope you can keep the positive feelings at the forefront for the majority of the time.

The Shepton Witch said...

Nice wardrobe! I'd have been tempted by it too.

I too ahve done the clearing out thing and it really does help to start your energies moving around the house and making it your own.

You sounds so much more up and positive, and though there will be good and bad days, the number of good days increases and the bad days will lessen. Hugs to you xx

ambermoggie said...

Lovely wardrobe and new beginnings for you:)

Griffin said...

Good luck on the judicious pruning. As a curatorial type I'd find that the most difficult - I don't do throwing away!!

But yes this is past the 'death' stage and on with the rebirth. Your very own Renaissance in fact. If you can get Botticelli to do you a fresco that will be even better!

Just don't go through the back of the wardrobe and get into any sleighs that's all.

...and good luck our kid.

veraciousdragonfly said...

It looks fantastic, and obviously, new starts are always a fun adventure.
I'm leaving for University in .. wow, two weeks? How time flies - so I'm going to have to sort out a very slim version of my wardrobe to take.

Good luck with this start, and perosnally, the title made me smile. =)

~Stars Above,
Celestial Rose.

Paul Rousselle said...

Melamine. Ah. I totally understand now...
Well done hun :) It's good to see you doing some contructive chucking therapy :D

Reya Mellicker said...

How wonderful that the universe is working with you as you move through this big change.

I love getting rid of old stuff. In fact I'm about the chuck out a hideously baroque chandelier my ex husband bought me for my 40th birthday. I always hated the damn thing which is why it's been sitting in a box for 10 years up in the attic. It's on Craigslist even as i type this.

Good riddance! And welcome to the new!!


Breezy said...

I like your new wardrobe! Something just for you well done!

Lisa G said...

Lovely wardrobe, you have good taste! A single too, your own little space, it's like it was waiting for you, a good omen indeed.

Pagangracecat said...

Fabulous thread title!

Kitchen Witch said...

Sorry to read of your recent troubles; haven't been by for a while because the advent of the witchlet has left me with less online time, but just wanted to say I'm thinking of you, and hoping things look up very shortly.

Brightest blessings.

This Guy said...

Love the Wardrobe and LOVE the pun! lol The wardrobe is beautiful, and I can't believe you were able to get it for 150, and delivered too! You are going through an amazing cleansing process right now, so keep good care of yourself! :) I'm so glad that you were able to reclaim your space! I remember when my ex left I did the same thing. I went out, bought some new furnature, repainted my apartment, changed things around and felt as if I had once again reclaimed my space!! I'm glad you aren't dwelling, clearly the universe has some wonderful plans for you! :)

dragonfly said...

You are pushing through those heavy clothes to a land of discovery!
Very funny and poignant post. Thank you for your sharing.
Lots of love