Messages From the Universe

Things On The Blog have been pretty quiet lately, mostly because Things In Real Life have been anything but quiet. IB and I find ourselves with three elderly parents between us who are increasingly reliant on our help with day to day living. As they become less able-bodied and begin to struggle with cognitive issues we've taken on more and more caring duties. It's been one of those situations that has rather snowballed in recent months, in that what was initially just a small amount of extra work has begun to seem all-encompassing. I work days and IB works evenings so his Mum - who now lives with us and is physically very frail - always has someone at home with her if she needs anything. My parents only live a 20 minute drive away, but they are also increasingly reliant on my help so I have had to drastically cut my work schedule so that I have enough time to assist them. Our social life has pretty much shrunk to zero, and we don't even get to spend that much time with each other. 

The last few weeks have been especially stressful, with lots of medical issues and appointments for all three parents, a blizzard of paperwork and officialdom to deal with, the death of several household appliances (why do they all break at once?) and all the kind of SNAFUs usually thrown up when Mercury is in retrograde. I find myself fantasising wistfully about going on retreat - or even just running away for the afternoon to sit in blissful peace in the woods. 

Yesterday as I walked to work after parking the car I was feeling incredibly stressed and overwhelmed by everything, wondering if I am actually strong enough to cope with it all. Part of the pavement was coned off due to some kind of groundworks in progress, so I stepped out into the road to go around the obstruction. As I did, I spotted something on the ground. It looked like a shell, and I wondered how on earth it had got there - and how something as fragile as a shell has survived lying in the middle of the road. I nearly stepped over it, but curiosity got the better of me and I picked it up, expecting to find it was actually just a pebble that looked like a shell. Yet as my fingers closed around it, I realised it really was a shell. 

Now I should mention at this point that this isn't the first time I've found a strange object in my path. I call it pavement divination - when I find these oddities I think of them as messages from the Universe and pay attention to what they may be telling me. A while ago I was working on self-care and heart magic and I found a tiny 'Ace of Hearts' charm in my path while walking to work. I took that as a sign of encouragement that I was on the right track. And of course, there was that whole dead frog thing many years ago. 

I turned the shell over in my hand, and saw that it was filled with cement. I think it had come from  the hard core that had either been excavated during the groundworks, or was waiting to backfill the hole. It seems incredible to me that something as fragile as a shell - even one filled with cement - could have survived being dug up, knocked about, and thrown down onto the road in a town centre. And yet here it was, nestled in the palm of my hand. It had sustained some chips and scratches, but it had weathered it all. 

I smiled, closing my fingers around this small miracle, this battered but resilient treasure. If this small shell can endure the tough times and come out intact then so can I. 

And then the Universe sent another message. As I straightened up, a car horn sounded behind me, reminding me I was still standing in the road. I turned to wave an apology at the driver, only to see it was one of my closest friends driving past and waving in greeting. This is a friend who has always been there for me, someone who I know has my back and who I love dearly. Of all the cars that could have driven by at that moment... It seemed like the Universe wanted to remind me that not only am I resilient enough to get through this challenging period, but that I am lucky enough to have wonderful, loving, supportive people in my life.

My miracle shell is now on my altar, and I will keep it as a token to help me remember in the tough times that I am stronger than I think - and that I am not alone.      

Suddenly September

And so here we are in September. 

There is a chill in the morning air. Days are noticeably shorter. Apples hang plumply from the tree and rosehips glow in the hedge. The sycamore leaves are beginning to brown. Yet the sun is still warm and the swallows still dance in the sky. Summer is drawing to a close, but gently.

How did we get here so quickly? Time has been a strange companion these last months. Though life in lockdown was slow and peaceful, still the months seem to have slid past quickly and already we are three quarters of the way through 2020. It's been such a strange year, the fact that we're entering its last stages will no doubt please many. Yet I suspect the strangeness will not evaporate on 31st December. Strange is the new normal as our expectations and priorities and beliefs about our lives are upended and re-examined and we learn to navigate the new reality in which we find ourselves. It's disturbing and often hard and painful. Isn't that always true of change? And yet... at times I find myself relishing the challenge. I think we could build something new and wonderful from the wreckage. Throw out what no longer serves, question the status quo, refuse to go back to the system that has created so much injustice and inequality. 

On this first day of a new month, one which sees the beginning of the new academic year, let's pause to think about the opportunities to learn that are there for us all. What has been stripped away? What essentials remain? What do we need to let go of? What do we need to bring in? What do we want to create? Where do we want to be this time next year?

Let's seize the initiative. Let's create the lives we truly want, not the lives they've tried to tell us we want. I don't want to be part of a system that keeps most of the world in poverty while a handful of billionaires call the shots. I don't want things, I want connection and meaning. I don't want to keep running on the hamster wheel, I want to spend time with people I love doing things that make the world a better place. 

When they urge you to 'get back to normal' so that they can get the system up and running again, refuse. Withdraw your support for a system that is only there to benefit the few. Dream a better future - then create it. Let's work together, for the good of all.

Ground. Breathe. Ground.

At the end of my last post I asked the question, "What have you found to be helpful during these difficult times?". And since then I have been wondering, what actually DOES help? I find myself checking in with myself regularly. When do I feel best? What bolsters my resilience? How do I stay balanced emotionally? 

It helps me to stick to some kind of routine. I'm not naturally a morning person, and if left to my own devices I can easily sleep the day away. But I make sure I set the alarm and get up every morning - it helps that I have the cats and chickens relying on me to get up and feed them! But even if I didn't, I would still be setting the alarm and getting up in the morning because I find the structuring of my day helpful. It makes me more productive, and that is also helpful. The days I don't feel so good are the vague, unfocused ones where I waste the day on Facebook, over-eat, don't actually achieve anything and end up bored and dissatisfied.

I am gentle with myself, though - I don't over-structure my days, preferring to leave room for flexibility, last minute changes of plan and some down time too.

Most of the time I get it right - or at least right enough that I maintain my equilibrium. Every now and again though, my equilibrium slips and I'm filled with a storm of emotions - panic, grief, rage, despair, helplessness or fear: an unpredictable mixture of one, many or all of them at once. What helps then?

This is what works for me: I try to remember to ground. And breathe. And ground.

Grounding, as I have written before, is not always granted the importance it deserves. But I would argue it is an absolutely crucial skill for magical practitioner and Muggle alike. I believe it's something that everyone should know how to do, something to teach our children from a young age so that it becomes second nature and a valuable coping mechanism in times of stress, change and crisis. 

There are many, many ways to ground - a quick Google search will turn up a myriad of methods - but this is my go-to way of grounding and calming myself at the moment:

• Stop for a moment and make yourself aware of the emotion(s) you are experiencing. Find a name for it/them. Fearful? Angry? Isolated? Name it. Say it aloud. "I am feeling ....."
• Notice how you feel it in your body. Numb? Tension in your shoulders? Nauseous? Name it. Say it aloud. "My [body/shoulders/back/stomach etc] feels....."
• Pay attention to the physical edges of your body, the border of your physical being where skin meets air, where feet touch ground etc. When I am overcome by emotion it's easy to lose touch with my body, to get carried off by the thoughts in my head. Have you ever heard the expression "I was beside myself with anger/anxiety/excitement"? Think about those words, beside yourself. Strong emotion can make you feel completely disconnected to your physical self. It's important to bring yourself fully back into your body.
• Take a deep, slow breath in through your nose. Hold it for a moment, then exhale fully and slowly through your mouth. Repeat a few times, concentrating on the feeling of the air entering and leaving your lungs. 
• Concentrate on your feet and their connection to the earth. If you like, imagine roots spreading out from the soles of your feet, down into the stable, supportive earth beneath you. Feel the strength and resilience you can draw from that connection. Remember to keep breathing slowly and deeply.
• Know that you are held and supported by the earth beneath you.
• Breathe. Ground. Breathe. Ground. Repeat until you are feeling calm and in control. 

Another quick way to get 'out' of a chattering mind and turbulent thoughts is to concentrate on your five senses - sight, hearing, touch, smell and taste. Take a deep, calming breath and mentally list three things you can see - three things you can hear - three things you can feel - three things you can smell - three things you can taste (Taste can be a challenge! If necessary stick your tongue out and 'taste' the air - what does it taste of? Lick your lips - what do they taste of? etc). After you have listed three things for each sense you should be feeling in touch with your body, more in control of your thoughts and calmer. If not - list three more for each sense!

Remembering to Ground and Breathe and be present in my body is proving invaluable for me at the moment. I hope it is helpful for you too.

Ground. Breathe. Ground.