Monday, 19 January 2009

Change

I've been musing on the subject of change this morning, since reading Deborah Oak's post.

There is change in the air, I can feel it. Of course, one doesn't have to be particularly tuned in to recognise that big change is afoot, what with the world's economic upheaveals and tomorrow's inauguration of the next President of the USA. And in my own little microcosm change is obvious too: divorce, new car, new kitchen, new life...

But this morning as I went out to feed the animals the air was positively sparkling with anticipation. Perhaps it is just spring around the corner, but I don't think so. The air felt charged with a positive expectancy. And it struck me as odd. So often change is something we have to be dragged into, kicking and screaming (usually metaphorically, but not always!). Change - the unknown - is often far scarier than staying put, no matter how uncomfortable 'put' may be. Yet I feel an eagerness for change, in myself, in the people around me, in the air.

Years ago, during a trance journey to 'examine and overcome our fears' I had the startling revelation that actually, I wasn't sure I wanted to overcome my fears. After all, my fears gave me an excuse to maintain the status quo, an excuse not to act and therefore not have to take responsibilty for myself, my actions and my circumstances. Fear is not a pleasant emotion to experience, yet I realised I was more comfortable with my known fears than with the unknown.

On the other hand there have been times I have felt an impatience, a keenness to just jump into the unknown; to embrace change just for its own sake. Looking back I have to be honest and say the results were mixed: some of what transpired from those blind leaps of faith was wonderful, some was unbelievably painful, in ways I couldn't have imagined. Yet I also have to be honest and say that those were the times when I learned the most, both about myself and about the world. Those changes in my life changed me, deeply, irrevocably.

The weather is mirroring my train of thought: Blue skies and sunshine with puffy white clouds suddenly give way to vicious squally showers that lash rain against the windows. Then just as suddenly the leaden grey clears from the sky and the sun shines tranquilly again. Change is constant, whether we want it or not. Whether we even notice it or not.

I am eager for a new start - in my personal life, in the world. Yet I know that change will not necessarily be positive, things will not always turn out as I imagine, plans will have to be adapted as the journey unfolds. But it is time. Like the Fool in the Tarot, I am jumping, and hoping for the best - as we all must.

14 comments:

Sunny said...

changes are in the air, indeed.

Sue - The Purple Pixie said...

What a fantastic idea! I'm up for it! Bright blessings,
Sue xxx

Leatherdykeuk said...

I'm all for a change :)

aims said...

Your comment that you were happy with your known fears - secure with them - afraid of the unknown - struck me down deep.

How absolutely true that is!

It's easier to stick with what we know and scary to stride out into the world with a change in mind. Into the unknown - alone - yet determined.

I'm with you here girl!

Rose said...

I so agree... I wrote something based on that same feeling yesterday myself but your linking it to fear was interesting. Thank you.

Cottage Smallholder said...

Your post has rung bells with me. It's so easy to use fears as a reason not to move on. I don't enjoy change and that is something that I need to work on!

This post was inspiring for me, standing at a bit of a crossroads in my life. Thank you for your inspiration.

Laura said...

I think I understand you post here. I feel the change in the air and believe it really has nothing to do with the other changes in the world (new president in USA, economic crisis worldwide) something just seems to be ... different. I'm taking a leap today and making a change, a change I've wanted for years, but put off for fear. Today I'm taking the steps... hopefully I will learn from the change and it will be good.
Blessings,
~*~

miss*R said...

and sometimes our fears are so familiar that the can become like nurturing blankets.. we snuggle into them.. not knowing how wonderful it is when we can let them go...

it seems you are moving forward, well done! Hope & wish for the best.. and it will come xoxo

Reya Mellicker said...

In Chinese medicine, it's believed that change is so intrinsic to life that if change does not occur, disease will be the result.

So glad you're now ready to make the move. You're so healthy! I salute you.

Curious Curandera said...

Great idea!

ICQB said...

Wow, what a great post. Thanks for taking the time to get it down and share it.

dragonfly said...

What a wonderfully life afirming, celebrating, embracing and positive post. I love it!
what wonderful exciting times we are living in.
Obama I think is so symbolic of this. He bridges so many words ~ black and white ~ Moslam and Christian.
I am experiencing so many people going through fundamental change which is being echoed in the macrocosm.
That in us which supports stifling of growth, transformation is being challenged.
And I resonate so much with what you say.
Yes to change and allowing new in.
Yes to feal the fear and do it anyway! And we might surprise ourselves and find ourselves opening doors that we never knew were there. And the fear not being so big or even there?
Thank you Susan.
YES!
Love Elizabeth

Leon Basin said...

Hey,how are you doing? Hope all is well.

Astral Cat said...

Found your post about change and fear pretty much at random, and it really struck one of those chords with me. Working towards a whole set of changes in my life, I'd taken to my Imbolc gathering all the dithering about whether to change or whether to unfold in the same place, and come out of it just feeling the itch and irritation of having stirred up the pot of sameness in order to start moving. Your post helped me feel the bigger movement in it all - thank you!