Sunday, 24 August 2008

Summer's End




I always find a sadness in this time of year. Although the end of August is still technically summer, there is a sense that everything has peaked and it is the beginning of the end.


This year that sense is overwhelming as events in my private life mirror the seasonal shifts outside. It seems my marriage is over.


If you are shocked and surprised by that news, having read what I have written here previously about my relationship with T, then you are not alone. I was taken completely by surprise by his announcement that he was leaving me for another woman. As well as feeling sad, hurt, angry, confused and anxious, I am also feeling unbelievably stupid. How could I not have known?


I won't write more now. I just wanted to let anyone reading this know what was happening, and why I haven't blogged recently. I may not blog too much in the near future - or I may be on here every day venting and/or pondering this strange turn of events. Or distracting myself by writing about other stuff. I don't really know at the moment - I don't seem to know anything at all for certain right now. Except that summer's ending.




23 comments:

Jopan said...

I tried to send you a picture of a blue rose but i don't think it was successful. i am mentally sending you huge bunch's of flowers.

Pumpkin~Power said...

Dear Moonroot,

I am so sorry to hear of the difficult time you must be going through. Although I haven't left a comment on your blog before I enjoy reading it regularly and really feel for you right now. May love and light be with you to give you the strength you need to look forward to the spring.

Blessed be
Pumpkin~Power

Pagangracecat said...

Sending you a big warm virtual hug. I just want to take a magic wand and zap the pain away for you.
Ring me if you need to. J sends big hugs and kisses to his special Auntie Moonroot too.

Anonymous said...

Sorry to hear your news. Like another comment I often read your blog but have not commented before.


Having been in the same situation many years ago I can only tell you that things will get better although at the moment I guess that you cannot see that.

Sending a hug

BB

Shepherdess

halfpintjack said...

Gods, so sorry. *offers hugs*

- snakey

raven said...

oh sweetie.

I'm so sorry. I'm sending you many many hugs and lots of love.

Raven

Donald Engstrom-Reese said...

My Dear Fere,

I am so sorry to hear this news. I am so sorry.

And trust me on this one, you are not stupid. I have continually seen you walk in the world brilliantly. I am confident that you will continue to walk in wisdom, compassion and judiciousness.

If there is anything I can do, please let me know.

You are in my prayers. I am lighting a candle just for you this very minute.

I love and miss you.

Andy said...

Your blog has touched me many times and my thoughts and pagan prayers are with you at what sounds like a terribly painful time. I trust you will find new inner strength as you need it. As the posts here show, you are surrounded with love.

Jo said...

So sorry, I know how that feels, its such a shock. Sending you blessings.

Livia Indica said...

So sorry to hear of your troubles. Hang in there.

willow said...

I'm so sorry to read this, sending you best wishes and hugs.

Reya Mellicker said...

My friend,

I am so sorry to hear this sad news. I don't know what to say except I can believe you must be in terrible shock.

Please know that I am thinking of you with much love. I wish I could think of something else to say, or that there was anything I could do.

Sending love, warmth, and friendship.

much love to you,

Paul said...

Hey,
Really sorry to hear about it :(
You really couldnt've have known anything about it.
Sending you healing and love.

Hope to see you soon.

Love,
Paul

Mike Farley said...

Can't wait to see you on Saturday for lots of hugs.

Good King Hal x

Will said...

I'm so so sorry, you are in my thoughts.

xxx

The Dark Mother said...

What an awful experience. You are not stupid, not matter how out of the blue this was. We go into love with our hearts open and we try to trust. You loved well and that is the truth of it. There is nothing shameful or stupid about that. Be with the pain and allow it to move through you. Be gentle with yourself and may your healing be swift. Bright blessings.

Breezy said...

Moonroot I am so sorry to read this I can feel your hurt and confusion in this post.

Spring will come again in the mean time I send you light and love

Leanne said...

oh Moonroot, I am so sorry. Please feel free to email me at leannehb@hotmail.com if you feel the need to unload to someone who has been through exactly the same. I am sending you the biggest virtual hug. Please dont feel alone.

Leanne x x x

AutumnRose said...

My thoughts are with you....may you have strength and comfort to see you through these changing times.

wiccanwanderings said...

My dear, I am so sorry. Bless you, and may the Goddess keep you safe and well! There's a way thorough... whatever we can do to help you. Sending you strength and healing!

TGW xxx

Griffin said...

The death of a marriage is a terrible thing and the aftermath even worse. But know that you are loved and cherished elsewhere. That like the death of the year in autumn and winter there is a rebirth in the spring.

Cancerian you are, but have some Scorpionic essence. You too shall be reborn in the Spring. I may be new to your place here, but I shall come and encourage you as others do. Cancerians can cling to feelings even when perhaps they ought to loosen their claws, so be kind to yourself too.

Practical suggestion - get yourself a notebook and write your feelings there. It gives you the chance to grieve and vent as wildly and weepily as you need and to put it all outside of your heart so your heart can heal again.

Love and hugs to you.

miss*R said...

I haven't been blogging alot at all and have just come by your blog to say hello and read this. I know it happened a few weeks ago not but the pain will still be there. It is bloody hard, I know.. I went through the same thing many years ago with my ex-husband..but believe me, there will be light at the end of the tunnel oneday. Be strong, find your inner warrior woman and please, email me any time at all. I am always willing to hold another sisters hand xoxo

Spicy Cauldron said...

I read your more recent entries backwards in terms of chronology, so I came across this one after commenting on some later ones.

I was very sorry to read this news, and even more so to read that there was another involved, which always makes these situations that much more difficult for the grieving and aggrieved person - not that any relationship breakdown is ever easy, at least not in my experience or anyone I know.

I hope that by now healing has fully entered into your life, and would very much like to add my own goodwill to that already expressed by so many others. Take care, and may you know the nurturing love of the Mother also taking care of you. x