Spirits of The Land Workshop

I am very pleased to announce that I will be co-teaching a workshop with the wonderful Halo Quin in June. It is called 'Spirits of the Land'. Click on the link below for full details.

"Join us in the wild hills of West Wales for a day of magic!

Working with the spirits of the land and the stories of Pwyll, Arawn and Rhiannon we will delve deeply into working with the Spirits of the Land and developing our own practices for building and deepening our relationship with those spirits and powers.

This one-day event is in the tradition of Reclaiming Witchcraft in which we often honour the “Spirits of Place” or the “Spirits of the Land”, so in this workshop we will explore what this means and ways in which we can recognise and honour those spirits who graciously allow us to work our magic in their homes, and who support us as we do.

BOOKING ESSENTIAL - Limited places available!
More details to be found here: http://haloquin.net/workshops/" 

Views Through Different Windows, or The Blessings of Blogging

I started this blog in 2007 just after Imbolc, so it is now 9 years old. How time flies! I'm not really sure why I started. Several of my friends were blogging and it looked like fun. Also, I had always wanted to write and I thought it may be a relatively pain-free way of getting feedback on my writing. 

It turned out it was, but really that was only one of the many benefits of blogging that I discovered. I found a voice, for one thing. I found that people liked my writing, which was a confidence-booster. That in turn led to me having the courage to attend writing classes and workshops which I have enjoyed and learnt a lot from (including the fact that you shouldn't end a sentence with a preposition - but hell, rules are made to be ignored, right?). My writing has improved, and my confidence has grown so much that I am actually working on writing a book, something I have wanted to do for many years.

Reading someone's blog is a little window into their world, giving an unexpected sense of intimacy at times. I have deliberately guarded my anonymity on the blog, being vague over the details of my and others' real names, or the exact location of Halfway Up A Hill. And yet reading over old posts I am sometimes astonished at how much of my inner self and feelings I have revealed. Possibly much of that is because just over a year after starting 'Moonroot' I suddenly and unexpectedly found myself in the middle of a divorce. The blog was and is a source of comfort through difficult times, and looking back I'm certain that it was therapeutic during some of my darker days to be able to write about them in the way I have. That's not to say I haven't self-censored; there is stuff in my personal journal that I wouldn't dream of sharing with the rest of the world. But looking back I find that I have shared far more than I would have expected, and I think it has been positive and healthy to do so. 

Blogging has also helped me with journalling, oddly enough. I always loved the idea of journalling but the perfectionist in me wanted my journal to be a thing of beauty, not poorly constructed rantings and crossings out. The journals that people share pages from are usually works of art, poetry, insight. Every journal I started before I had a blog, I began with such high standards that I couldn't possibly maintain them and invariably gave up shortly afterwards. Blogging has no such drawbacks as unlike writing with pen and ink, things composed on a computer can be retrospectively edited, cut, pasted or deleted without spoiling the overall 'look' of the thing. But then when I found myself unable to access my blog for whatever reason, I missed it so much I still needed an outlet for all those thoughts and ideas rattling around in my head. So I bought a cheap notebook and some pens and started noting it all down. And before I knew it, I was journalling. Now I can't imagine how I would cope without my journal and have already decided that should I ever appear on Desert Island Discs my luxury item will definitely be an inexhaustible supply of pretty notebooks and nice pens. 

I have also met many wonderful people through blogging, either through commenting on their blogs or through their comments on mine.  Some of these people I am still in touch with - though we have never met - and others have dropped away over the years. And I miss those who have dropped away. I enjoyed the glimpses into their lives, I felt that we were friends even though we had never sat down over a cup of tea together. If you're on my blog-roll, even if you haven't posted for years, I'm still hoping I'll hear from you again one day! I guess this is one of the weird side-effects of the digital age, where we can share so much with total strangers, feel such intimacy yet lose touch so quickly when our point of contact - e-mail address, Facebook page, blog etc gets deleted. Even so, on balance, I think this sharing with strangers is a good thing. I have had insights into other lives all around the world, views through different windows. People I have never met have shown me great kindness in difficult times (and I hope I have done the same for them). If this sharing means better understanding between people, greater compassion, more empathy then I do not think it can be a bad thing, even if the relationships we create turn out to be ephemeral. 

So here's to blogging and its many blessings. Long may it continue. 

2015: Struggle and Serendipity, Pomskizillious and Gromphiberous

Oh dear. I really wanted to blog more regularly in 2015. Things went OK until June when life sort of... took over. 2015 was a good year for me, more or less. The downside of it was a lack of time and money. Up until the middle of the year, I wasn't by any means feeling wealthy but I had just about enough and was even paying instalments towards a late-summer holiday. And then I was suddenly struggling. In a short period of time I lost two clients who no longer needed my services due to changes in their circumstances, and at the same time got hit by a couple of unexpected bills. All of a sudden I was no longer floating along serenely, I was struggling to keep my head above water, sinking lower and lower each month. Luckily, the story has a happy ending. My lovely sister (with whom I was going on holiday) lent me the money I still owed on the trip until such time as I could pay her back. And I managed to find a new job, working a couple of days a week in a jewellery shop (which I love). It was still a difficult few months as I was working three jobs over a six day week without much to show for it except exhaustion and a gradual easing of my debts. At the same time, IB was having employment dramas of his own and we were seeing very little of each other. I am happy to say though, that I am now solvent again, both job situations have settled and I have managed to re-jig my working week so that I get two whole days off. The storm has abated and we are back on an even keel - for now, anyway!

But those were the difficult times. In between them 2015 gave me many beautiful experiences and memories, lots of good times with the people dearest to my heart and also new and wonderful friendships. Which is really what I wanted to come here and write about...

Some of the highlights for me were finally reaching what has often seemed like the very distant shore of 'Acceptance' following years wading through the swamps of 'Denial', 'Bargaining', 'Anger', and (seemingly interminable) 'Grief' caused by my divorce. Yes, to anyone making this journey themselves, you will get there in the end. I promise. 

Then there was my magical trip to Glastonbury in the spring.

In June by pure chance I ended up making a visit to the beautiful Rheidol valley, which just happened to be one of the rivers featuring in the folktale we were due to work with at Dragonrise Witchcamp later in the summer. The weather was perfect, the river was beautiful, but more importantly what I learnt about the river that day ended up being an important part of the work we did at camp. Such wonderful serendipity!

Trip to the Rheidol Valley

Dragonrise itself was fabulous. I should have written a whole report as soon as I got back, but the notes I jotted down to recall the 'flavour' of camp after returning will have to suffice: 

Dragonrise

The sound of children laughing under the oak tree. 

The swell of grief for the rivers. 

Butterflies in the meadow by the stone circle. 

The serenely flowing brown Borle Brook. 

The fey whispering, bubbling in the woods. 

Talking, crying, laughing, dancing with Rheidol; picking wildflowers with Her. 

Making magic potions. 

Singing, singing, singing. 

The dance of the Salmon. 

The Rivers and the Mountain. 

Owls and woodpeckers and swallows and buzzards. 

A river of stars in the night sky. 

A circle of smiling faces in a fairy-lit yurt. 

Extraordinary magic. 

"The sun is shining... I'm so sexy! this is my tree!" (translation of birdsong!)

Holding space, drumming a heartbeat while the magic swirls around us. 

The moon through the trees.

"The journey doesn't end when the river meets the sea"

Brewing Magic Potions at Dragonrise

At the end of September, we took our much anticipated holiday to Gozo. I fell in love with the place. It's kind of wonky and quirky with a definite attitude of 'manana', but that fitted perfectly with my desire for a laid-back, relaxing holiday, which was exactly what we got. There is also a sense of timelessness from the ancient land beneath your feet, a sacred, magical place... I cannot put it into words. Victorian nonsense-poet Edward Lear also gave up, describing it as "pomskizillious and gromphiberous, being as no words can describe its magnificence". The Arabs named it 'Ghawdex' which means 'joy'. And I jotted down a few more notes which tried to capture the essence of the place: 

Gozo

Water reflects ripples on stone walls.

Bougainvillea petals on stone.

Lizard sunning on the wall.

Cooling breeze.

Turquoise pool, sand coloured stone.

Clouds drift over in the blue, blue sky.

Dragonfly darts.

Rustling palm fronds.

Coffee and olives and tomatoes.

Splashing, laughter.

Big yellow butterfly, hovering black bee.

Pomegranates and carob, prickly pear and loquats.

Azure sea, ancient land.

Slanting shadows and the sound of crickets in the fields.

Gozo

Other highlights this year have been lovely birthday celebrations with friends and family, a trip to Kent to stay with my sister, making new friends, a wonderful extended Christmas with the family and the addition of two kittens to the household, now taking the feline headcount to six. I am definitely becoming a mad cat lady!

Today, I'm counting my blessings again. Each year is different, some easier, some harder. On balance my 2015 was one of the good ones, the struggle outweighed by the serendipity. Thank you and farewell 2015, and welcome 2016. I wonder what you will bring?

Dragonrise Rising!

It is now only just over a month until Dragonrise Witchcamp begins. I spent some time earlier this evening talking and planning with my fellow Path teachers Elinor and Shira, amongst other things deciding on chants we will use. We are teaching 'The Waters of the World' Path and it is shaping up to be something wonderful. The camp itself is working around a wonderful folk story from Shropshire about three sisters who are rivers, and their father, a mountain. 

This is from the Dragonrise website: 

*****

CAMP DESCRIPTION

Come sing with us, sing with the rivers, with the mountain, wrap your arms around the land and feel your home.

Together, as we find our path, the rivers of the land are our teachers and allies, empowering us to step into our birthright.

All is alive.

Join us in rural Shropshire, as we journey with the sister-rivers, Severn, Wye and Rheidol, and their father, the mountain Plynlimon. 

We will work and play with the story of how the rivers came to leave their father, each following her very own, unique path from mountain to sea, to step into her birthright. 

As the rivers wend their ways to the ocean, with their support, we too will find our own paths through and with our more-than-human world.

PATH DESCRIPTIONS

The Wild Mystic Path

with Cypress Fey and Raven Wolfsister

Deep in our bones we know we are connected to the Earth.

Deep in our intuitive souls we know the Earth can hear us.

Deep in our history, our ancestors honoured the Spirits of the Land

High above the stars circle

High above the winds blow

High above the birds call greeting to the dawn.

Here in the middle we stand at the crossroads

Here in the middle we can dare intimacy with something greater

Here in the middle we can stop and touch the earth.

Earth Mystics seek the language spoken by birds, trees, and soil.

Earth Mystics embrace the values of intuition, stillness, and observation.

Earth Mystics run with the spirits, knowing that the land is alive, accessible, and conscious. 

The Wild Mystic Path will focus on the learning the language of birds, and recognition of the life that surround us. 

We will learn the skill of crafting our energy ‘profile’, so we are no longer outsiders, but are an integral part of the whole.

We will open our eyes and hearts to the wild and mysterious all around us, honoring them as companions and powerful allies.

Through the workings of this path we will hone our inherent skills and deepen our knowledge and connection with the natural world.

We will sing, journey, hold silence, and experience the joy and wonder of knowing we are not alone.

This path is open to adults who have a previous grounding in the tradition of Reclaiming.

It is an all weather path. We suggest you bring comfy shoes, raincoat, sunblock and hat as well as a journal and water bottle.

Persons interested in this path should be prepared for moderate activity.

Waters of the World Path

with Susan Moonroot, Shira, and Elinor Prędota

Come dance with the Waters of the World in all their manifestations: enter into and understand your relationship with water. 

In this path, we will connect with and come to understand more deeply how water flows in our lives both as a magical element and a practical reality: how it affects us, and how we affect it. 

We will work with the water cycle in its many forms, experiencing the different aspects of water in a hands on way, from rain to spring to stream to the sea and back again. 

We will touch water, sing to it, pour it, and let it move both our bodies and our souls.

This path is suitable for all ages, and all levels of magical experience and skill. Some of our time will be spent outdoors, so please bring appropriate clothing and supplies.

*****

If you would like to join us on this exciting journey, see the Dragonrise website for more details, or you can download a booking form here.

Precious

Last Night - Three crows fly across a silver crescent moon. I blow a kiss of blessing. Sleepy chickens murmur as they settle for the night. A frog peeps from the long, damp grass.

Today - Sunshine and storm clouds. The taste of wild strawberries and the song of skylark. Honeybees in clover. A jay flashes through the trees. A kiss from a cat. Laughter with friends.

So much beauty. So much to be thankful for. I count my blessings carefully. There are many of them, and they are all precious.    

Baby Steps

One of the strange things about depression is that whilst you're in its grip, you don't necessarily realise that fact. You don't always feel yourself slipping down into the pit, and even if you do recognise that you are down in those murky depths, it is usually only when you have managed to extricate yourself that you realise just how far down you had slid. Which is probably a good thing. Recognising what a long hard slog it is going to be to reach daylight again would be enough to put anyone off even trying.

I did not realise until recently how depressed I had become over the last few years. It started of course with my divorce, which was not only the end of my relationship with T but - and this is probably the bit it took me longest to see - the end of the life I had been living here at Halfway Up A Hill. While T was the breadwinner, I led an idyllic life tending the garden, growing herbs and veggies and caring for the animals. My schedule was flexible and I could concentrate on the things I most enjoyed (gardening, animal care and in my spare time, writing). I think coming to terms with the end of what I thought was a stable, happy marriage was the most obvious mourning I had to go through, but the loss of the life I thought I had was actually harder to come to terms with and took much longer. It will be 7 years this summer since T walked away, and it has taken nearly that long to fully come to terms with everything and joyfully embrace the life I now have instead of mourning the old one.

Things were complicated of course, by starting a new relationship with IB. That was - and continues to be - a source of great happiness, but starting as it did fairly soon after T had gone, I hadn't really had enough time to process my feelings and regather myself. And because I was in a new, happy relationship many people seemed to think that everything was magically fixed. It certainly helped, but I was also struggling to come to terms with the loss of my idyllic lifestyle. 

This is a beautiful area of the UK, but it is not an easy place to find employment. That, added to the fact that not having worked outside the home for years had left me (a) with outdated qualifications and work experience, (b) lacking in self-confidence and (c) in quite a quandary as to what to actually do. The upshot has been that while I have found employment, it has been in menial, low-paid jobs. I am often tired, usually short of money and always short of time to do the things I would really like to be doing. The worst part of depression is the way it leaves you with no energy or enthusiasm, and the result here at Halfway Up A Hill has been that my beloved vegetable plot and polytunnel are now neglected and overgrown and a backlog of maintenance tasks has built up to mammoth proportions.

Which all sounds incredibly gloomy, and yet it is not. This has all been part of my healing process, my journey back up out of the pit of depression and back into the sun. And now I am truly, truly back in the sun these challenges no longer seem overwhelming. They seem like - well, challenges, but challenges I am finally relishing getting my teeth into instead of ignoring in the vain hope they'll go away.

Baby steps are what I'm taking, instead of trying to tackle the whole big mess in one impossible super-hero style whammy. That is never going to happen. But baby steps added together, one after another are enough. Each little task sorted, each little improvement or repair made adds up to get us a bit closer to the goal of bringing Halfway Up A Hill back to life again.

Last year we tackled the patio area which had become overgrown with brambles and buddleia. After much cutting back and weeding, we have transformed it into a productive herb garden with a sitting area overlooking the valley. And we have enjoyed many barbecues there on sunny evenings! Recently I have added new flowerbeds by the garden steps that lead down to the house and they are looking gorgeous in full bloom. The overgrown area outside the kitchen window has been cleared of junk and nettles and is now neat, weed free and growing a fine crop of lavender, pineapple mint and sugarsnap peas. Working from the house area out, tackling one area at a time, eventually we will get to the vegetable patch and the poytunnel and the orchard. But for now I am proud of what we have achieved, and every time I go out to feed the chickens in the morning, I make time to take a little stroll around these reclaimed areas and enjoy them.

The magical thing is that each little improvement gives me encouragement and incentive to tackle something else. I am reminded of the old Greenpeace slogan, 'The Optimism of the Action is Better than the Pessimism of the Thought'. It is my belief that in difficult times the best thing is to do something. Even if that something is merely weeding the herb garden or feeding the birds. Each time you do something, you remember the power that you have, and remembering that you have the power gives you access to more power.

My final step back up out of depression occurred in January this year. I was driving back from work, feeling blue for no obvious reason, and thinking 'I just wish I could get back to my old self!'. A voice in my head said, 'Why would you get back to your old self? You have been changed by the things that have happened to you. You are not your old self and can never be again. Embrace who you are!'. And it was like a light-bulb went on. Of course I am no longer that same person. Of course I have been changed by events in my life, events I did not necessarily have any control over. But I can own that, accept it and choose how to move forward from here. The changes in my life have made me stronger, wiser, more compassionate. And that cannot be a bad thing.

Real Miracles

Yesterday, IB and I watched in fascination as what seemed like hundreds of mayflies danced past on the breeze. The life story of the mayfly is magical - their eggs are laid in water, and the 'nymph' stage of the insect lives underwater for about a year before developing its wings, at which point it emerges from the water and hides in vegetation for a few hours until it sheds its skin once again to reveal its final, adult form. These adult mayfly tend to appear in great numbers, for they live for just one day and in that time they must mate and produce eggs. So single minded is their purpose that they have no mouths and do not eat. But as they dance and drift in great numbers their fleeting, fragile lives are a reminder of so much that is beautiful, precious, ephemeral.

Last year a story about a photograph that allegedly shows fairies appeared in the press and was shared widely on social networking sites. My initial thought was that the photo was of mayflies, although it now appears that they have been most likely identified as midges. I thought it was a cute story which showed how beautiful and magical even humble insects could be when caught in slanting sunlight and seen in an unfamiliar way. I was amazed to find though, that some people were insisting the photo showed actual fairies. My amazement turned to real irritation when I saw the photo shared on some Pagan pages on Facebook, with people leaving comments like 'This photo definitely shows fairies', 'I believe!' and 'Don't try to tell me these are insects!'. My irritation was because most Pagans would say that Paganism is a nature religion, that we honour and worship the Earth and all Her creations. And yet here were people saying that insects were too mundane and that they wanted fairies. 

I think the ephemeral miracle of mayflies should be magic enough for anyone, without having to turn them into Tinkerbell. There are so many fabulous, amazing and even miraculous natural phenomena in this incredible world we are lucky enough to inhabit. Octopi change their markings as camouflage, make 'gardens', squeeze through the tiniest cracks, use tools. Peacocks display the most amazing plumage. Spiders weave intricate webs from silk that is stronger than steel. A bluebell wood in full bloom. Morning glory clouds. The Aurora Borealis. The changing seasons. The scent of honeysuckle. Bower birds. The unfurling of a fern frond. Sequoias. Platypuses. Rainbows. Albatrosses. The individuality of snowflakes or fingerprints. Otters. Seahorses. Blue whales. Hummingbirds. The dawn chorus. Honeybees. Snow. The miracle of life unfurling from a humble seed...

When I watched the film 'Avatar' for the first time, I was entranced by the beautiful world that had been created for the film. But then I wondered, if I lived there, would it still seem so magical and wonderful? Does familiarity breed contempt? Is that what the determination of people to believe they are seeing fairies instead of midges is telling us?

It is a shame if people feel their lives are so humdrum they must Disney-fy them. It is a shame if people are so out of touch with the world around them that they fail to see the magic that surrounds us. It is especially sad if those who claim to love and worship the Earth don't find its reality enough for them.

Perhaps we need to let go of Tinkerbell, stop clapping our hands and chanting 'I believe, I believe!'. Then maybe we can release the fantasy and open our eyes to the amazing reality that surrounds us. And if we do that we will be able to truly treasure the Earth and perhaps use the energy we have been wasting on Tinkerbell to protect and nurture our amazing Planet.


P.S. You may also like to look at these images of woolly aphids to see how fairy-like insects can appear in the right light. But they are still insects, all the same.