Ouch...!

My left hand - in happier times!

I am in pain. I have somehow torn a ligament in my left shoulder. Well, not 'somehow', I know exactly when and where it happened, just not 'why?'. On Saturday night, as I was undressing for bed I pulled my top off over my head - as I do every night. But on Saturday, for some reason I suddenly experienced a stabbing pain in my shoulder. I assumed I had just twisted it in some awkward way and by morning it would be feeling better. But by morning it was no better, and the pain was so severe when I tried to use my arm that I realised it was more than just a simple twist.

IB was lovely and took very good care of me - he took me to the cinema and out for a Chinese meal to cheer me up. I must admit that sitting motionless in the cinema for a couple of hours and being so scared by all the zombies in 'World War Z' my shoulder didn't hurt a bit (I made sure IB was sitting on my right so I could grab his arm during the scary bits!).

On Monday I downed some painkillers and set off to work, but even mostly working one-handed, by the afternoon the injured shoulder was so painful I had to cancel my afternoon job. I just about managed to work again on Tuesday morning (praise be to Paracetamol!) and luckily had Tuesday afternoon free anyway. But once the painkillers wore off, it became clear that the injury was becoming more, not less painful, and I began to worry that in trying to mute the pain and use my arm  in even a limited way, I was compounding the injury. Furthermore it was getting harder and harder to drive the car to work (or anywhere!) as changing gear was excruciatingly painful.

I rang my Wednesday morning job and explained the situation, and to my relief they said to take the day off. That afternoon my Dad very kindly drove me to the doctor's surgery. My GP gave me a thorough examination during which she eliminated the possibility of a pinched/trapped nerve (I retain full feeling in my hands/arms/shoulders, my grip is unaffected and I can move my arm normally - or I could if it didn't hurt so damn much). She is unable to say definitively if it's a torn muscle or a torn ligament, but my money is on the second. I've torn a muscle in the past, but while that was painful enough, I have never known joint pain like I am currently experiencing. If it is a ligament, it will take months to fully heal.

So I now have painkilling gel to rub into the affected area - well, I say 'rub' but it's more like 'dab on extremely gingerly' as even the lightest touch on my shoulder is currently enough to make me yelp. I also have some prescription painkillers, and I have put my arm in a sling which helps to support it and also acts as a reminder NOT TO USE IT even if the painkillers have dulled down the pain level. I have had to cancel the rest of my work week, which is a worry as things are pretty hand-to-mouth around here at the moment (I have lost a couple of clients since their own working hours were cut due to the recession). T though, has been kind enough to offer financial assistance if I need it.

The good news is that after doing virtually nothing yesterday except seeing the doctor, for the first time since Saturday, my shoulder feels a little better. It is still too painful to use my left arm for anything much, but the pain now seems less intense and more localised - initially my whole shoulder was jangling with pain and the ache extended from my jaw down my arm to my pinky finger. So I am hopeful that with a few more days' rest, I will be able to resume work as usual on Monday.

But isn't it strange how you take things for granted until they are not available to you any more? Left arm, as a right-handed person I have probably taken you for granted a lot of the time. I now realise that even if my right arm takes the lead most of the time, you are always there to lend support and stability, help with the heavy lifting, contribute to the alchemy of left and right co-creating together. Without you, I can't drive, or knit, or tie my hair back off my face; I can't use shears, or drain a heavy saucepan, or carry the basket of laundry to the washing machine. Precious shoulder joints, I never before fully appreciated the range of motion afforded to my arms by your flexibility and strength. I never really thought about the strain I put on you by carrying, lifting, digging, climbing, waving, swimming, painting a ceiling...

Our bodies are wondrous, complex things. All too often we focus on the things we don't like about them (wobbly tummy, frizzy hair, clicky knees, crooked nose, lack of sporting prowess, short sightedness, long sightedness, allergies...) instead of appreciating all the wonderful things they allow us to do and see and hear and taste and touch and smell and access, every day. Every. Day. While I take time out to recuperate, I am also taking time out to contemplate and appreciate and thank my wonderful body. It has served me well over the years. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Greendazzled

I am in love with the Green. Perhaps because it was so long in coming this year, now that the Earth is fully flooded by spring and newness and life, everything seems so intense. The leaves are so green, the sky is so blue, the grass is so long and lush. So many flowers, so much birdsong and bumbling of bees.

At work, I gaze out through windows into the beauty of the world and long to be outside, wandering under trees and feeling the roughness of bark, the tenderness of new leaves beneath my fingers. As I drive the car my gaze is caught and held by the beauty of every flower-clustered hedgerow, and it is hard to concentrate on the road ahead of me. Driving under hanging branches I catch glimpses of woodpeckers, sparrowhawks, finches, jays. Butterflies zig zag across the sun-soaked meadow. A shaggy-maned horse munches contentedly in a field bright with buttercups.

I want to leave the human world and dance in the meadow with the butterflies. I want to ride bare-back on the shaggy maned horse until I have lost my way. I want to wander through woods where pools of spreading bluebells cascade down the hillside into a foam of Queen Anne's Lace. I want to tiptoe through moth-fluttered twilight and sleep the night away on a bed of moss, watching the stars through branches of oak and beech...

It is intoxicating. I am faery-led. I am drunk on spring. I am greendazzled.

Announcing...

I am very proud to announce that I have been asked to write a monthly column for the online magazine Pagan Pages. My column is called 'The Tree of Life' and you can read my first article in the new Beltane issue here.

I feel very honoured to be asked to write this column and I am very grateful to Pagan Pages and the lovely folks who run it for giving me this opportunity. Of course I will continue to blog here at Moonroot too - I love my blog and the wonderful people it has enabled me to connect with via the blogosphere.

Happy Beltane, one and all.

Little Miracles, Part 2

This morning, as I prepared to leave for work, I discovered my purse was missing. It's such a horrible feeling of cold shock as you realise, yes, it's definitely gone. Even worse, there had been £100 cash in it, wages not yet paid into the bank.

After combing the house and car, I rang the last place I knew I'd had it: a shop visited yesterday. To my huge relief, it had been handed in, so I drove over to collect it. From the conversation with the shopkeeper, I wasn't clear if anything was missing and to be honest I fully expected the cash to be gone. I was just hoping my debit and credit cards and drivers license were still there, anticipating what a huge pain it would be to have to cancel them all and arrange new ones.

To my utter amazement and genuine delight, not a thing was missing from the purse. Not so much as a penny, so far as I can see. What a wonderful affirmation that there are kind, lovely, honest people in the world - especially after the horrors in the news lately.

This little episode is a welcome reminder that there are far more good people in the world than bad. Even in these difficult, cash-strapped times, people don't take advantage of each others' misfortune. They want to help, they want to treat others as they would like to be treated themselves. Yesterday on Facebook, in the wake of the Boston bombings I saw this lovely quote: "When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, "Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.” - Fred Rogers. What a great reminder that as a species, although we are capable of great evil and great cruelty, we are also capable of selflessness, generosity, compassion and all manner of good things. Today I am choosing to remember that "You will always find people who are helping". Another small miracle.

Little Miracles, Part 1

 

 



Winter seemed determined to hang on this year. Although the weather for the last month or more was bright and sunny for the most part, it stayed bitingly cold and dry. The combination of bitter daytime cold, harsh overnight frosts and lack of moisture left the fields brown, the trees and hedges starkly bare and a lack of flowers in the hedgerows. Only some brave snowdrops showed their faces, but even they were late arriving and are still blooming into April, when  normally they'd be long gone. A few primroses in sheltered spots, and daffodils of course, but all much later than usual.

At least here in West Wales we escaped the heavy snowfalls that plagued other parts of the UK, but it started to seem like the White Witch of Narnia had cast a spell over the country.

At last the wind direction has changed, bringing both milder air and rainfall. And almost overnight the countryside has changed. The fields have turned from brown to green. The hedges and woods are also starting to green up as the leaves return. Lawns are suddenly starred with daisies. Bumble bees have emerged. In gardens, rhododendrons, magnolias and flowering cherries have burst into life from a standing start. The cowslips in the meadow that had barely raised their heads last week are now covered in their clustered yellow bells. What I took for a bank full of snowdrops as I drove over to a friend's house the other day was instead a swathe of wood anemones that had seemingly sprung up from nowhere. And yesterday I spied my first pair of swallows.

I suspect that you could almost see the landscape change on an hourly basis.

How marvellous the land is! How resilient and adaptable. How lucky we are to live in such a miraculous place.

Earth Hour

 

Today is Earth Day. This evening I shall be observing Earth Hour as I do each year. I invite you to join me. It is quite simple - at 8.30pm local time (no matter where you are on the planet) just turn off your lights for an hour.

I usually go the whole hog and turn off all the electricity at the main switch. I reckon an hour isn't going to be enough for the freezer to do any serious defrosting, and having all the electricity off helps me to really savour an hour by candlelight. Instead of whiling the time away surfing the net, vegging out in front of the TV, distracting myself with radio or watching a movie, I can really be 'in the moment'.

I will light candles, and the woodburner will keep IB and I, the cats and the house cosy. In previous years I have spent the hour meditating, chatting, playing chess, knitting... Today, my dear friend Donald's wonderful blog post on 'Family' has me thinking about my loved ones, near and far. I plan to use Earth Hour tonight thinking of them all, wherever they may be: blood family, heart family (or hearthkin as Donald calls them), ancestors, descendants, Mysterious Ones. I hope that many of them will also be observing Earth Hour, and I love the sense of connection that brings.

Tonight, for one hour, won't you join us? Take some time out to honour the world. Light the candles, turn out the lights, and feel the connection to all your fellow Earth-lovers around the world. We are all interconnected and that is a great responsibility, a great strength, and a great gift.

ThriftWitch: Magical Spring Cleaning

As you may have realised from my Clean Start Soap Spell, I am a great believer in the power of magical cleansings. They clear away the metaphysical cobwebs, make space for new growth and keep the energy flowing. Whatever is going on in our lives there is always some stuff that we have outgrown, got saddled with or need to let go of - and what better way to get that process going with a magical spring clean? And of course at this time of year - the Spring Equinox, as the days become longer than the nights and everything goes into growth overdrive - a good spring clean is most appropriate.

What makes a spring clean magical? As with all things, it's in the intention. Do your spring clean mindfully, keeping your thoughts on those things in your life you wish to clear away, or on making space to draw in that which you desire.

You can also make your own cleaning products, which have the advantage of being cheap, effective, environmentally friendly and can be tailored to your magical intentions.

My favourite natural cleaning products are bicarbonate of soda (mildly abrasive and a natural deodoriser), white vinegar (disinfects, cuts through grease), and a selection of aromatherapy oils (depending on which you choose these can be antiseptic, antiviral, antifungal, aromatic and can have magical associations).

Here are some ways to use your natural cleaning products:

• Use a few drops of vinegar in a bucket of water to clean windows, mirrors or glass surfaces with a damp cloth, then polish dry with a sheet of scrunched up newspaper - guaranteed to give a streak free finish! While doing so you could be asking your deity or ally of choice to help you see clearly that which you need to see.
• Sprinkle baths, shower stalls, sinks or tiled surfaces with bicarbonate of soda and scour clean with a damp cloth. I say 'scour' but though it's very effective, it is actually quite gentle. Rinse clean and polish any chrome fittings with a dry cloth until they sparkle! Take the opportunity to meditate on whatever you wish to wash away out of your life as you do so.
• Use a few drops of essential oil on a damp dishcloth to wipe down surfaces around the home. Almost all essential oils have disinfectant properties and they smell great.

If you're not sure which essential oils to choose, some of the best for killing germs around the home include thyme, oregano, cinnamon, cloves, lavender, tea tree or pine. Tea tree is also antifungal, so can be used to tackle any mould in damp areas like bathrooms or around windows. Do note though, that some of these (particularly thyme, oregano and cinnamon) can irritate sensitive skin, so consult a good aromatherapy book if you're not already familiar with essential oils. If you want to choose your oils for their magical associations, a good magical herbal (such as 'Herbcraft: A Guide to the Shamanic and Ritual Use of Herbs' by Anna Franklin and Susan Lavender) will help guide your choice.

Or, if you'd just like a good-smelling general purpose oil, you could try one of these. The first blend is favourite of mine, a zingy citrus-floral blend, perfect for spring: 

• 10 drops lemon oil
• 10 drops orange oil
• 10 drops geranium oil
• 5 drops rosemary oil

A delicious spicy blend for the winter:

• 15 drops orange oil
• 5 drops cloves oil
• 5 drops cinnamon oil (optional - personally I like the simplicity of the orange/cloves version, but adding cinnamon is a nice variation.)

A refreshing herbal blend for summer:

• 10 drops thyme
• 10 drops rosemary
• 10 drops lavender
• 10 drops tea tree

In all cases mix the oils together and store in a tightly lidded glass bottle. Use a couple of drops on a damp cloth to wipe down kitchen surfaces.

Vinegar is a great non-toxic disinfectant to use around the home, and although the smell is not to everyone's taste it doesn't tend to linger once it's dried. But if you'd like to get a better fragrance you can infuse the vinegar with citrus peel - chop up lemon, orange or grapefruit peel and use to loosely fill a wide-necked jar with a tight-fitting lid (a Kilner jar is perfect). Pour in enough white vinegar to cover the citrus peel and leave in a warm place for at least a fortnight. Strain the vinegar and bottle.

Alternatively, you could try making the legendary 'Vinegar of the Four Thieves'. The story goes that a group of thieves were able to rob plague victims during an outbreak of the disease by protecting themselves with this disinfectant brew. There are many different recipes for Vinegar of the Four Thieves, but the version I've used involves steeping sage, rosemary, wormwood, rue, lavender and thyme in cider vinegar. Garlic is an ingredient listed in many versions of the recipe, but I opted to omit it for house-cleaning purposes as I didn't want the place smelling like a pizzeria!

So throw open the windows to let the spring air in, grab your besom and start sweeping away the literal and spiritual dust and dirt (widdershins, naturally). When you have finished, before you sit down for that well-earned cup of tea, take a few moments to light a candle, naming as you do so those qualities that you wish to draw into your newly-cleaned space. Nature abhors a vacuum after all, so make sure you not only clear away what is no longer needed, but that you consciously invite in those things that you hope to nurture through the coming summer months.

Blessed Be!