The Rush of Wings...

Late yesterday afternoon, as I was coming back to the house after feeding the chickens their afternoon treat of mixed corn, a strange sound was added to the background noise of country life. As well as birdsong and the screech of jays in the oaks, a distant tractor and the barking of a dog on a neighbouring hillside, suddenly there was a sound like rushing water, or the wind in in storm-tossed branches. Yet it hasn't rained for over a week, and the breeze was only light. It was neither water nor wind. I knew exactly what it was, and my heart lifted.

Further up the hill, a couple of fields away, a huge flock of starlings was gathering in preparation to fly off to their roost for the night. Some years they regularly fly right over the house. Other years I see them only from a distance, or catch a glimpse of a swirling flock as I'm driving home from work. A few years back a great cloud of them descended into the garden, and since then I have watched the winter skies avidly in hope of seeing them. This winter I have seen them regularly, but mostly at a distance, so now I craned my neck expectantly.

The flock didn't come any closer to the house, but through the bare winter bones of the hedge I could see more birds flying in to join the assembly. Every so often the noise level would suddenly dip for a brief moment before the whole flock lifted off in practise flight before regrouping on the ground or the tall trees at the field's edge. This happened several times, until triggered by some signal imperceptible to me, they were ready. The sound dropped for a moment and then the entire flock swept into the sky with a huge rush of wings, awe-inspiring even from a distance. They whirled in a morphing cloud like one great organism, and were off.

I stood spellbound for a moment as the magic faded and normality returned. Then, murmuring a blessing to the beautiful flock on their journey, I returned to the house. Time for me to light the fire, start the evening meal and prepare my own roost for the night.

Millions Marching, One Billion Rising!

 

Video: One Billion Rising! Flashmob in Carmarthen 14/02/2013

"Another common, unspoken assumption is that spirituality is about calm and peace, and conflict is unspiritual. Which of course makes it hard to integrate the spiritual with the political, which is all about conflict.
In New Age circles, a common slogan is that "What you resist, persists." Truly spiritual people are never supposed to be confrontational or adversarial — that would be perpetuating an unevolved, "us-them" dualism.
I don't know from what spiritual tradition the "what you resist, persists" slogan originated, but I often want to ask those who blithely repeat it, "What's your evidence?" When it is so patently obvious that what you don't resist persists like hell and spreads all over the place. In fact, good, strong, solid resistance may be the only thing that stands between us and hell. Hitler didn't persist because of the Resistance — he succeeded in taking over Germany and murdering millions because not enough people resisted."
- Starhawk

Ten years ago today, along with millions of other people I was marching against the Iraq war. According to Wikipedia, "Sources vary in their estimations of the number of participants involved. According to BBC News, between six and ten million people took part in protests in up to sixty countries over the weekend of the 15th and 16th; other estimates range from eight million to thirty million." I marched in London alongside friends from the British Reclaiming community. Along the way we sang, and danced, and chalked hearts on the pavements. Although the day was grey and cold and the wind blowing off the river Thames was icy, the energy of the march was amazing. It is incredible to be among so many other human beings, all with one shared intention, one passionately held belief.

Many people who have never attended a demonstration seem horrified by the very idea. I am certain this is due to the impression given by the media that such events are inevitably filled with extremists, thugs and stone-throwing anarchists; hotbeds of violence and wanton destruction. In my experience, nothing could be further from the truth. The demonstrations I have been on, from my first way back in the '90s (against the Criminal Justice Bill 1994, which amongst other things criminalised what were previously civil offences in an attempt to stifle road protesters and hunt saboteurs), have been without exception good-humoured, fun and friendly. I'm not saying there was no trouble or arrests at any of them, but I personally have never seen any negative behaviour at all. At any large gathering of people it is inevitable that a small minority will act up, or even go along with the express intention of causing trouble. Yet it is this small minority that gets all the press coverage and attention and gives a totally misleading impression of the event and most people's experience of it.

Yesterday, across the world, millions of women (and men) joined the 'One Billion Rising' initiative in joyful flashmobs, dancing to protest violence against women, and stating that we will not stand for this! (the word "billion" refers to the statistic that 1 in 3 women will be raped or beaten in their lifetime - about one billion). From Africa to Asia to the Americas to Europe to Australasia, women gathered and danced, in some places risking their very lives to do so. Even in my local town of Carmarthen, women - including some of my friends - gathered and danced. Unfortunately I couldn't join them, which I'm really sad about! It looks like it was an amazing event, and it makes me feel so proud and so moved.

We have more power than we allow ourselves to believe. We are creating the future with every choice we make, every moment of every day. And when we join with others, when we tap into what Starhawk calls 'Power-With'* (as opposed to the more usual model of 'Power-Over') we tap into something truly world-changing.

Political demonstrations rarely change the world overnight. They don't always achieve their aim - an estimated 10 million marched against the Iraq war and still Bush and Blair went to war. And yet, these events have power. In the immediacy of the march, or the occupation, or the dance against violence, we feel our connection to each other. We know that we are not alone in feeling passionate about this issue. That gives us strength and courage. We meet like-minded souls, we make connections and forge bonds. We let those in power know that this is an issue that really matters, that come the next election, their jobs are on the line. Someone told me that for every letter protesting an issue, the powers that be know that 10 more people feel the same way, but haven't bothered to put pen to paper. How many more then, for every person who makes the effort to travel to a demo or a sit-in? In some instances, a demonstration can become a revolution. This is why protest is stifled, this is why they publish the photos of bricks being thrown at windows. They don't want you there. If demonstrating didn't make a difference, why would they care if you marched or danced or chained yourself to a railing? Standing up and being counted, changing minds does change the world. Gandhi knew it. Martin Luther King knew it. Rachel Corrie knew it, Julia 'Butterfly' Hill knew it, the Pankhursts knew it. Code Pink know it, the Occupy! movement know it, UK Uncut know it, Reclaim the Streets know it, One Billion Rising! know it.

You can make a difference. We all can. Claim your power-with!

P.S. See also this.

* Starhawk's Definitions of 'Power-Over' and 'Power-With'
Power-Over sees the world as an object, made up of many separate, isolated parts that have no intrinsic life, awareness or value. Human beings have no inherent worth; value must be earned or granted. Power-Over motivates by fear, violence or threat of violence.
Power-With sees the world as a pattern of relationships, but its interest is in how that pattern can be shaped, moulded, shifted. It values beings, forces, and people according to how they affect others and according to a history based on experience. 

Brigid Poetry Festival 2013

 

 

Once again, it is time for the annual Brigid Poetry Festival. You can find details here. This is my contribution for this year, a poem by Wendell Berry that I love.

Manifesto: The Mad Farmer Liberation Front

 

Love the quick profit, the annual raise,
vacation with pay. Want more
of everything ready-made. Be afraid
to know your neighbors and to die.

And you will have a window in your head.
Not even your future will be a mystery
any more. Your mind will be punched in a card
and shut away in a little drawer.

When they want you to buy something
they will call you. When they want you
to die for profit they will let you know.
So, friends, every day do something
that won't compute. Love the Lord.
Love the world. Work for nothing.
Take all that you have and be poor.
Love someone who does not deserve it.

Denounce the government and embrace
the flag. Hope to live in that free
republic for which it stands.
Give your approval to all you cannot
understand. Praise ignorance, for what man
has not encountered he has not destroyed.

Ask the questions that have no answers.
Invest in the millennium. Plant sequoias.
Say that your main crop is the forest
that you did not plant,
that you will not live to harvest.

Say that the leaves are harvested
when they have rotted into the mold.
Call that profit. Prophesy such returns.
Put your faith in the two inches of humus
that will build under the trees
every thousand years.

Listen to carrion - put your ear
close, and hear the faint chattering
of the songs that are to come.
Expect the end of the world. Laugh.
Laughter is immeasurable. Be joyful
though you have considered all the facts.
So long as women do not go cheap
for power, please women more than men.

Ask yourself: Will this satisfy
a woman satisfied to bear a child?
Will this disturb the sleep
of a woman near to giving birth?

Go with your love to the fields.
Lie down in the shade. Rest your head
in her lap. Swear allegiance
to what is nighest your thoughts.

As soon as the generals and the politicos
can predict the motions of your mind,
lose it. Leave it as a sign
to mark the false trail, the way
you didn't go.

Be like the fox
who makes more tracks than necessary,
some in the wrong direction.
Practice resurrection.

Wendell Berry

Chilly Chickens

Snow Day

Soft white flakes fall from the sky overnight. By morning, the hills are blanketed by snow. Gearing up to battle my way into work, I am relieved when my employer rings to tell me to stay at home. The roads are too bad, snow still falls thickly and even if I manage to get there, it is likely I'd be unable to get home safely.

Donning many layers of clothing, shuffling like an old woman to avoid slipping on the icy path, I feed and water the chickens and Spike the gander. The chickens are reluctant to leave the shelter of their house, and Spike shouts in outrage at the sight of all that snow, for which he seems certain I am in some way to blame. The friendly robin by the back door, bold and cheeky, reminds me to add extra food to the bird table. Though my fingers are painfully cold, I make two trips out to the woodpile for extra firewood. Then I can light the woodburning stove and thaw myself out.

The world has a strangely muffled quality today, I feel a sense of peaceful isolation. Few cars crawl up or down the hill. The snow continues to fall; sometimes thick flurries, sometimes small, scattered flakes. My footprints from the morning chores soon fill and are smoothed away.

*****

Tonight the cats and I snuggle around the stove, grateful for its comforting, glowing warmth. I have plenty of food and firewood. I have my new computer to play with. I have nowhere I need to go, nothing I need to do. It could be a lot worse.

ThriftWitch: Jar of Blessings

I'm not sure where this idea originated - I came across it on Facebook. It's simple, costs nothing but really appeals to me, so I thought I'd share it here.

Find a clean, lidded jar that appeals to you. You can decorate it if you like - paint it, add glitter, or stickers, tie a bow around it, write 'Jar of Blessings' on a luggage tag and tie it around the neck... or just keep it plain. It can be big or small, but in the spirit of optimism, why not choose big!

Then starting 1st January, every time something good happens, write it down on a slip of paper and add it to the jar. Incidents of serendipity, plans that come to fruition, an unexpected phone call from an old friend, a beautiful sunset, happy holiday memories, unlooked for kindness from a stranger, the mastering of a new skill, some words of wisdom imparted to you, the recipe for the fabulous jam you made, the joke that made you laugh until you cried...

The idea is that at the end of the year you can empty the jar and revisit all your happy memories from the last twelve months. Hopefully there will be many, and even if it's been a tough year you can see that there have been lots of blessings too. But of course if there are rough patches during the year and you need to accentuate the positive, there's nothing to stop you opening the jar earlier than 31st December!

And that's it. I think it makes a very good partner to the Clean Start Soap Spell...

May your jar overflow with blessings in 2013!

Happy New Year.

Self Care, Wisdom and Breaking Old Spells...

Pic: Shrine to Brigid, Goddess of Healing at  the White Spring, Glastonbury

Good health is something I normally take for granted. A Naturopath told me some years ago I have a very strong constitution, and that seems to be the case. I have no allergies or food sensitivities to worry about. I can always sleep, and rarely lose my appetite. Like anyone, I get the odd cough or cold, but usually bounce back after a few days and that's that.

However.

The Cold that IB and I caught in Madrid turned out to be a real stinker, and even now I still have an irritating cough that just won't seem to shift. Then at the beginning of December I succumbed to the Norovirus tummy bug and even after the stomach pains and vomiting had subsided, I found it hard to get my appetite back. Feeling totally washed out, I struggled to meet my work commitments during the week. And then the icing on the cake: last Friday I went down with tonsillitis.

I had tonsillitis several times as a child, but don't remember it being much different then to an ordinary head cold. I had it again as an adult in 2001, though, and couldn't believe how ill I felt that time! My head was pounding, my throat was incredibly painful and swollen, I couldn't eat, and I felt so light-headed and weak. I remember thinking, 'I don't think you can die from tonsillitis, but I feel so lousy at the moment that if I do I really don't care!'. That time T took me to the Dr who prescribed antibiotics and it cleared up in no time.

This time my experience was definitely a re-run of the 2001 episode, but more antibiotics - and nearly a week off work - have done the trick again. Even so, I am aware of underlying weariness and the sense of needing a good long rest.

In my previous, pre-divorce situation, life was much easier. I had work and commitments here at Halfway Up A Hill, but I could be flexible about what I did and when, and as T was the breadwinner, me taking it easy for a few days when I needed to didn't have that much of an impact. Now things are different: I need to work outside the home to support myself and it is often a struggle to do that and juggle caring for the animals, the house, the garden - and myself. Also, if I don't work, I don't get paid, so time off for leisure, appointments (e.g.dentist) or illness has to be carefully considered and judiciously weighed out.

Because I generally have such good health, I take it for granted. I have a tendency to push myself to keep going where someone more sensitive to their body's limits would ease off. And I find it hard both to say 'no' when asked to do things and also to ask for help myself when I need it. Not really a good combination!

It is clear that I need to work on self-care. This run of illness has made me aware of many things. That I am not indestructible. That I have allowed myself to get run-down. That ignoring it and trying to keep going only makes me vulnerable to further illness. It is a hard lesson. I can be stubborn, and this kind of life experience makes me want to dig my heels in and ignore it because, dammit, I won't be beaten! But at heart I know that learning from experience - even bitter experience - is not being beaten, it is the gaining of wisdom.

Nevertheless I know myself well enough to know that it will be all too easy to fall back into old patterns of behaviour. After all, as humans, that's what we do, right?

Recently I have realised that 'being under a spell' in fairy stories could be seen as a metaphor for this falling back into old patterns. For example, a princess is held captive by a wicked magician/troll/dragon. Many suitors come to her aid and try to free her but they fail due to the enchantments/spell laid by the villain. They don't take the good (if weird) advice they were given for the journey (Don't look the giant in the eye! Don't eat the fairy food! Be polite to the old hag!), or they do exactly what all the other failed attempts did and rush straight at the bad guy/dragon, waving a sword - and are promptly turned to stone, or fall into an enchanted sleep, or are just plain killed. In other words, by falling back into old, tried-and-failed patterns yet still somehow expecting them to work, their attempts are defeated. But the resolution of the problem, the denouement of the story comes when the hero either has the good sense to follow the advice - however odd it seemed - or to try something different (Talk to the dragon! Outsmart the troll! Ask the golden bird in the cage what to do!), thereby breaking the spell - the old pattern - and achieving his goal and the freedom of the princess.

This is what I need to do - break the spell by taking the good advice I am given by friends and family (Eat well! Go to bed early! Learn to say no sometimes! Ask for help!), even if it seems easier to ignore it. And I will try doing some things differently in order to get a different result (Stop bottling up stress - instead thump a pillow, or do regular meditation, or restructure my working week...). I will take echinacea and multivitamins to build myself up. I will get the Dr to give me a health check. I will take responsibility for my well-being. I will learn to self-care.

I will break the spell. I will be well. By my will, with harm to none and for the good of all, so mote it be. Blessed be.